Female Ejaculation
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Believe it or not, the female orgasm and female ejaculation were unknown until relatively recently. Back in the 1800’s, if a woman was feeling Sexual, her husband would take her to the doctor so that he (yes, all doctors were men in those days) could treat what was in those days diagnosed as “hysterical tension”. Symptoms of this “condition” included irritability, a temperature and swollen pudenda. And guess how the doctors treated their female patients with this condition? They prescribed masturbation! But the poor lady was not allowed to do this herself (this was deemed to be unhealthy and would rot the mind!). Usually stimulation of the woman's genitals to orgasm was performed by either a midwife at the doctor’s surgery or sometimes by the doctor himself. The husband and wife would then return back to their 19th century domestic bliss, that is, until the wife got horny again.
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Towards the close
of the 1800’s, the industrial revolution meant that the “modern
doctor” would deliver the prescribed genital stimulation using
a steam driven vibrator. In fact all manner of weird and wonderful
contraptions were used by doctors to bring about a female orgasm
- or as it was known in those days - "the relief of tension
in the female”. The female orgasm was simply not recognized
in those days. Up until well into the 20th century, many scientists
claimed that the female was incapable of enjoying an orgasm at all!
Over time however, clitoral orgasm came to be recognized as the engine-room
of the female orgasm.
Female Ejaculation:What it is and how to do it.
History If you were
to refer to literature over the last 50 years you would be lead to
believe that females have only been able to ejaculate since about
1980. Of course this is absurd, and just shows how "the experts" can
be wrong for decades .
Many knew the experts were wrong, but had little success in convincing
anyone. Needless to say this lead to many problems, needless surgery
(to fix the poor women who would ejaculate), expensive counseling (got
to find out what happened when they were children to cause this "problem"),
and in some cases divorce.
"The G Spot" by Alice Kahn Ladas, Beverly Whipple, and John D. Perry,
has dozens of letters from women who went though various personal tragedies because
they would ejaculate during lovemaking. Doctors, gynecologists, and psychiatrists
invariably told them they were peeing and needed either surgery or psychotherapy.
Newsweek published an article entitled "Just How the Sexes Differ" in
May of 1981. One of the major difference was listed was that men ejaculate,
but women do not. However, Aristotle wrote about female ejaculation,
and Galen knew about it in the second century. The female prostate, which
generates the fluid which is ejaculated, was described in some detail
by De Graaf in his "New Treatise Concerning the Generative Organs
of Women".
(1) "... during the sexual act it discharges to lubricate the tract
so copiously that it even flows outside the pudenda. This is the matter
which may have been taken to be actual female semen." He describes
the fluid as "rushing out" with "impetus" and "in
one gush."
(2) The medical community was finally awakened in 1980 when Perry and
Whipple showed a film of a female ejaculating to the SSSS (Society for
the Scientific Study of Sex). Martin Weisberg, M.D., a gynecologist at
Thomas Jefferson University Hospital in Philadelphia responded, "Bull
... I spend half my waking hours examining, cutting apart, putting together,
removing, or rearranging female reproductive organs. There is no female
prostrate, and women don't ejaculate." Yet after seeing the film
and witnessing the event in person he changed his tune: "The vulva
and vagina were normal with no abnormal masses or spots. The urethra
was normal. Everything was normal. She then had her partner stimulate
her by inserting two fingers into the vagina and stroking along the urethra
lengthwise. To our amazement, the area began to swell. It eventually
became a firm one by two cm oval area distinctly different from the rest
of the vagina. In a few moments the subject seemed to perform a Valsalva
maneuver (bearing down as if starting to defecate) and seconds later
several cc's of milky fluid shot out the urethra. The material analysis
described in the paper (Perry & Whipple's) is correct, its composition
was closest to prostatic fluid".Fluid Characteristics The ejaculate
is very much like prostrate fluid. It is usually clear, or milky and
as thin as water. It does not have the look, smell or taste of urine.
It is almost odorless. The taste varies, depending on the time of the
month and diet, and possibly other factors, such as amount of stimulation
received prior to ejaculating or time since the last ejaculation. It
can vary from an almost honey sweet, sour, bitter, or a combination of
these tastes.
Even though it is ejaculated , it is most definitely not urine. It is absolutely impossible to pee during a orgasm unless there is a weak pubococcygeus muscle. This is very important, and it is important for the female and her partner to both understand this. The pubococcygeus muscle contracts when terminating a stream of urine, and is the muscle which contracts during orgasm. This contraction helps prevent retrograde ejaculation (ejaculation back into the bladder), and of course prevents the bladder from draining during orgasm.Problems Women have Ejaculating I think there are two major problems women face that prevents them from the immensely enjoyable experience of ejaculation. They are the female's mental attitude, and their partners inability or unwillingness to spend the time and effort during lovemaking and to learn the necessary techniques. We will address both of these problems and the solutions here. The ejaculation is done through the urethra. This is the same tube that is used for urination. It is located outside the vagina, between it and the clitoris. The fluid is water like, and non- lubricating. In no way does ejaculation improve the chances of conceiving, it offers no lubrication, and is dumped outside of the vagina. The only conceivable purpose of female ejaculation is for pleasure. And the pleasure is intense, in many cases far surpassing the best orgasm's. Often ejaculation takes place during both a clitoral and a vaginal orgasm (yes there are two type of orgasms, clitoral and vaginal, but often orgasm is a combination of the two), giving the female extreme pleasure, sort of a triple whammy. Sometimes after ejaculation the female will virtually pass out from the intense feelings. It can be argued that since the only reason that females can and do ejaculate is for pleasure, then there should be no reason for them to not do so, and as often as they please. It is one of the safer sex acts, since in most cases it can be triggered with fingers alone. Ejaculating from intercourse is more difficult, especially when performed from the missionary position, but still possible. Preparation Recommendations for the Woman's Partner Wash hands well. Trim fingernails. Make sure that the thumb, and first two finger nails do not extend past the fingertips. Trimming them as far back as possible would be best. Make sure that there is no dirt or crud under the fingernails. Place a towel on the bed. A surprising amount of fluid can be released during female ejaculation. Compared to a male it can be like a water cannon instead of a water pistol. Have some K&Y Jelly handy. At some point additional lubrication may be necessary, even if she is having heavy orgasms and climaxes. Set aside enough time. The first successful ejaculation may take from 10 minutes to over an hour. It may be wise to exercise your hands, fingers, and arm for several days prior to this exercise. The motions necessary can become quite tiring after a while if you are not in good physical shape. Before beginning the first time, discuss it. Let her know that you are striving to give her an ejaculation. That female ejaculation is perfectly normal, and a wonderful experience for both of you. Convince her that there is nothing to be embarrassed about or ashamed of. Explain that just prior to ejaculation, she most likely will feel like she is about to pee. This is a difficult point for many women, as they will immediately draw back. Convince her that it is normally impossible to pee during an orgasm, and that the feeling is simply the first sign she is about to ejaculate. Since the movement of the fluid through the urethra will initially feel exactly like when she starts to pee, this is very important. The reflex to stop peeing will immediately abort the ejaculation, so she needs to be told to relax, and allow the fluid to pass. In other words when she feels like she is about to pee, she should go ahead and pee. Only it really won't be pee, it will be an ejaculation, and within a couple of seconds it will be very obvious to her that this is something quite different. Once she knows the feeling, she will be able to push it out once it starts, with astounding results. It is best for the partner to be sitting between her legs at this time, else she may overshoot the towel or even wet the far wall. Once she has ejaculated, rejoice with her. Don't make fun, or a joke. If you do it may be the last time she will be able to ejaculate, at least in your presence. Unlike a man, this is not the end. You can continue, and she may well have multiple orgasms and ejaculations with further stimulation. Technique Start slow. Use typical foreplay. You may want to start with her on her back. Stimulate the clitoris.
This can be done with a moist finger, or with your tongue. Performing cunnilingus while rubbing her breasts with your hands can be quite stimulating for her. At any rate, continue clitoral stimulation until she is lubricated. At this point slide two fingers into her vagina.
Allow them to move along the front wall of the vagina. You should encounter an area about 2 inches in, which should be somewhat enlarged. This is the G spot. It lies directly along the urethra, and is located almost directly behind the clitoris. Slowly stroke this area. It should start becoming more enlarged. Ejaculation is almost always triggered by stimulating the G spot. Clitoral stimulation can often assist in helping her reach an ejaculation, and also can make it more intense. But stimulating the G spot is usually necessary at least initially. Once she starts ejaculating easily, she may find that clitoral stimulation alone is sufficient. Stroking can be done a number of ways. The two fingers can rub the area as a unit, or they can take opposite strides, similar to walking. A third method involved sliding the two finders out a fraction of an inch, and pushing them back in, similar to the in- out motion of intercourse, but with smaller strokes. Initially pace the stimulation somewhat slow. Alternate with clitoral stimulation either with the thumb, other hand, or mouth/tongue. Also try simultaneous stimulation of the clitoris and G spot. Watch her reactions. Simultaneous may be too intense for some but necessary for ejaculation for others. Take your cues from her. When she starts bearing down, and you feel the vagina contract, begin pumping rapidly. When she is in the middle of an orgasm, stimulate the clitoris at the same time, and pump the G spot gently, but very rapidly. Talk to her. Say, "your getting it, go for it, don't worry, relax and let it come" or other similar words. She may need reassurance that if she drenches you, you will not be upset. Tell her how erotic you find it for her to ejaculate. Make her comfortable with both you, and the idea of ejaculation. This actually is not the best position. If she does not succeed after a short time, have her roll over on her stomach, and get up on her knees. You will find stimulating the G spot much easier in this position, and she will most likely respond much better. With the two fingers turned down, slide your two fingers back into her vagina. Find the G spot and continue stimulating the G spot. You may use the other hand to stimulate the clitoris. If after a couple of orgasms, using rapid pumping on the G spot during orgasm, she still has not ejaculated, then turn the hand around, putting the thumb into the vagina. The thumb will likely not reach the G spot, but don't worry, it should come up to meet the thumb during orgasm. Take the two fingers and lay them down on the clit. Allow the entire curve between the thumb and forefinger to lie along her from the vagina to her clitoris, and begin pumping with the thumb, and rubbing the clit at the same time. When she starts an orgasm, start pumping the entire hand rapidly. At this point she will most likely ejaculate. The trick is to massage the area where the urethra comes out, while stimulating the clitoris and G spot. This will help to override the feeling she is about to pee, and allow her to let it pass. Be aware that the female is not only capable of multiple orgasms, but also multiple ejaculations. It is not unusual for her to have from 3 to 5 ejaculations before depleting her supply of cum. Once she has ejaculated one or more times, you can continue with intercourse. Entering from behind will stimulate the G-spot more easily than missionary style, and often additional ejaculations will occur during intercourse. Even if they don't, she will be highly excited, and very sensitive. The final result will most likely be the most intense and pleasurable sex she has ever had.
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Before discussing female ejaculation I will first address female body
fluids in general. Our society, as well as most others, views all
forms of liquid that are produced by the female body with great disdain.
Women are not permitted to openly perform most normal bodily functions;
it is not seen as being feminine. Female body fluids are even considered
harmful by many; there are societies in which menstruating women
are thought to cause crops to fail and livestock to die. This creates
a significant barrier to sexual pleasure for women.
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Women are expected to maintain a dry pristine appearance regardless of their current physical activity. Mothers once told their daughters it was unwise to engage in sports, as boys would see them sweaty and disheveled and this was seen as unattractive. Today, deodorant and antiperspirant ads drive home the idea, "Do not let them see you sweat." Women are told they need special stronger deodorants made just for them. Tampon and sanitary napkin advertising stresses the products ability to conceal a woman's menstruation from others more than their primary task of absorbing menses. Most women would prefer to have their fingernails ripped out one by one than be seen having an "accident;" menstruating in public. There are girls and women who learn to dislike the idea of urinating in a public bathroom, holding their urine all day until they get home. Are they perhaps afraid to be seen as less than pure by others?
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Sweaty men are seen as sexual, virile. Their manhood is measured by their ability to produce large quantities of semen. They write their name in the snow with their urine and see who can ejaculate the furthest. Men making a mess with their ejaculate is seen as unavoidable, normal, and is never questioned. It is even idolized in adult movies. Men can ejaculate on the face, in the mouth, and on and in the body of their partner and it is seen as normal. If a woman gets her body fluids on her partner that is another story, she has made a dirty mess. This is an interesting double standard. If a man can cover his partner with his body fluids, a woman should be able to do the same.
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Female sexuality is marred by these unwritten laws. It is hard to relax and enjoy sex if you are worried about sweating heavily or producing too much vaginal lubrication. Women who produce large quantities of vaginal lubrication, sweat, and who ejaculate have been known to avoid sex rather than expose their partner or themselves to these fluids. Since women have no control over the release of these fluids during sexual activities some avoid sex all together rather than risk being seen as less than feminine by their partner. Though a woman's desire for sex may increase during her menstrual period she may not engage in sex during this time because she fears she will make a mess of things and is inherently undesirable. Social mores concerning female body fluids can significantly restrict female sexuality and pleasure.
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Before a woman can learn to ejaculate, enjoy ejaculating, and enjoy sex in general she must accept her bodily fluids as normal. She must not question the nature or quantity of her wetness, be it sweat, vaginal lubrication, menses, ejaculate, or urine. These fluids are a normal and natural part of women's lives. There is nothing that is inherently bad about them. A woman cannot allow herself to ejaculate and experience potentially earth-shattering orgasms if she cannot let go when the pressure or urge to ejaculate arises. Ladies, give yourself permission to get wet and messy. Give yourself permission to have fun and enjoy sex.
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As a result of the taboos concerning female body fluids, the main motivation behind the studies into female ejaculation appears to be the determination of whether or not the expelled fluid is urine. If a woman ejaculates a liquid that is not urine, like a man, it is normal and she cannot help it; she is normal. If it is urine, she has a medical problem; she is not normal. Authors who write about the G spot strive to persuade their readers that female ejaculate is not urine. Why this great importance over the exact nature of this fluid squirting from women's bodies? Does it really matter whether it is urine or ejaculate? If a woman gets a thrill out of squirting urine at the moment of orgasm, are we to say she has a problem? Do we mean to take this pleasure away from her? If a woman squirts urine at the moment of orgasm, let her, if she ejaculates uncontrollably, so be it. It is not our place to judge a woman's sexual pleasure.
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From the book Eve's Secrets By Josephine Lowndes Sevely.
Copyright 1987 Josephine Lowndes Sevely
During early fetal development both male and female fetuses start out
being physically female; prior to the male fetus being able to produce
its own hormones. The production of testosterone in male fetuses
is not triggered until around the seventh or eighth week of fetal
development; by the presence of the Y chromosome. This necessitates
that female fetuses initially have rudimentary organs that could
develop into either "male" or "female" reproductive
and sexual organs. As a result, the tissue that develops into the
male prostate gland also exists in women.
From the book: The Ciba Collection of Medical Illustrations: Volume 2,
Reproductive System
Prepared by: Frank H. Netter, M.D.
Copyright 1954 and 1965 Ciba Pharmaceutical Company.
The female prostate is actually a collection of paraurethral glands. These glands surround the female urethra on all sides and empty into it through many small ducts. "Paraurethral" simply means "near the urethra." These glands can be seen in the two illustrations shown above. (Additional illustrations from the book Eve's Secrets by Josephine Lowndes Sevely can be seen in the Anatomy section.) The paraurethral glands are also called "Skene's Glands." The largest of these glands, there may be as many as thirty or more, are located near the urethral orifice and may in some cases open into the vulva. The quantity, size, and placement of these glands varies from woman to woman. During sexual arousal the paraurethral glands fill with fluid and may in some cases be felt through the vaginal wall; as demonstrated in the illustration at the top of the page. These glands produce the same alkaline fluid as the male prostate.
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Urethral
Sponge, Skene's Glands,
Paraurethral Glands, or Prostate?
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Since the female pararethral glands do not have the same structure as the male prostate, it is not really appropriate to say women have a prostate gland. The female paraurethral glands do not form together into a single gland that drains through two ducts into the urethra as in the case of the male. The term "female prostate" is often employed since people already have some familiarity with the "male prostate" and can make a correlation between the two, even if they do not believe you. If you say "paraurethral glands," people usually have no idea as to what you are talking about. There are enough similarities between the two that it not a completely inappropriate statement to make, and simplifies the explanation, but not the debate.
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There has been an ongoing debate concerning the presence of the female paraurethral glands for hundreds of years. Even before the paraurethral glands were observed, the fluid produced by them had been known to exist since perhaps the dawn of time. Female ejaculation was once thought to be required if conception was to occur; the mixing of the male and female fluids was thought to result in conception. Early investigators, 1700's to present, of human anatomy have observed what appeared to them to be, two glands that drained into the urethra, a female prostate, multiple ducts that drained into the urethra, a mixture of small and large ducts and glands, or no ducts and glands at all. Why such varying observations and opinions? Primarily the differences in their observations can be attributed to the fact the earlier observers did not have the same type or level of education, and the anatomy of the paraurethral glands vary from woman to woman. Add to this, the language barrier and confusion caused by translations and passage of time. It is likely they were all correct, given the circumstances of their observations.
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In the above illustration by Dr. Netter, he has labeled some of the glands as para-urethal or pari-urethral and the ones located closest to the urethral orifice as Skene's glands. The two glands located closest to the vulva are often called "Skene's glands." This is because Skene oberserved only two glands and named them after himself; believing he was the first to observe them. His description of the paraurethral glands has taken hold, as well as his name, even though others had already known about the existence of a female prostate, or multiple paraurethral glands, for at least one hundred years prior. As can been seen in the illustration shown below, others have supported the two gland theory ever since. The difference in the names used to describe these glands and their perceived quantity has led to some confusion. The paraurethral glands and Skene's glands are though the same thing.
From the book Human Sex Anatomy
By Robert Latou Dickinson M.D., F.A.C.S.
Copyright 1949, The Williams & Wilkins Company
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In the illustration shown at the top of the page, the tissue surrounding the urethra is labeled as the "urethral sponge;" the paraurethal glands are imbedded in this tissue. The tissue surrounding the female urethra is thought by many to be the same as that surrounding the male urethra; corpus spongiosum. The tissue surrounding the female urethra fills with blood during sexual arousal, as is the case in the male. This results in the tissue becoming firm to the touch. If the end result is the same, the cause would have to be the same, this would seem to make sense.
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I propose this may not be the case. The corpus spongiosum tissue of the penis does not extend as far as the prostate gland. The female inner labia and vestibule glands are comprised of corpus spongiosum and would have formed the tissue surrounding the urethra as it passed through the penis had the genetic coding specified male, not female. If we have already accounted for the erectile tissue in women, how can it also surround the paraurethral glands; especially since this is not the case in men? To my untrained eyes, two photographs in Sevely's book showing the cross-sections of the male and female urethras do not appear to show the same type tissue surrounding the male and female urethras. For these photographs to show the same types of tissue would they not have to be cross-sections of the male and female prostate? I believe these photographs show the male corpus spongiosum and the female paraurethral glands. One would not then expect to see the same type tissue.
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The female urethra is part of the vagina, not a totally separate organ. The urethra passes through the tissue of the vagina. The vagina and urethra cannot be separated as is usually indicated in anatomy illustrations. In addition, the vagina has a rich blood supply and fills with blood during sexual arousal. This increased blood flow has already been found to cause vaginal lubrication; sometimes in significant amounts. If the tissue surrounding the urethra is engorged with blood, is it not possible the paraurethral glands kick into high gear and fill with prostatic fluid?
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I propose the discernable swelling surrounding the female urethra is caused by the accumulation of alkaline fluid in the paraurethral glands; not solely by the swelling of erectile tissue. The tissue surrounding the urethra is rich in blood vessels; as the below illustrations clearly show. The illustration from Sevely's book shown above reveals a large collection of glands, one being quite large, a short distance into and above the vagina. This would perhaps account for the small area that swells and projects into the vagina, and that in some cases can be felt through the vaginal wall. It may also account for the concept of a "G spot."
NOTE: The clitoris surrounds the urethra on three sides, as does the vestibule glands and bulbocavernous muscles, along the outer third of the urethra. The clitoris and vestibule glands also swell with blood during sexual arousal.
From the book: The Ciba
Collection of Medical Illustrations: Volume 2, Reproductive System
Prepared by: Frank H. Netter, M.D.
Copyright 1954 and 1965 Ciba Pharmaceutical Company.
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The latest research indicates the possibility that all women produce female ejaculate, even if they are not aware of it. The expelled or released fluid is not urine, it is an alkaline liquid secreted by the paraurethral glands. The paraurethral glands produce an enzyme called prostatic acid phosphatase (PAP) and glucose (a sugar). These substances have been found in much higher quantities in female ejaculate than are found in urine. The fluid from the paraurethral glands is released or expelled during orgasm as a result of pelvic muscle contractions. Stimulation of the G spot or paraurethral gland is not required for this to occur and it may occur in the absence of orgasm. The glands may simply overflow with fluid and as a result it seeps out.
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I have already explained above that the paraurethral glands do in fact produce an alkaline fluid. In some cases, all of the fluid emitted from a woman's urethra is ejaculate. In other cases, the liquid is likely a mixture of ejaculate and urine, or only urine. There has not been sufficient research done to clarify exactly what the fluid is, in every instance. The research that has been done often provided conflicting results. There is research that concludes it is only ejaculate or that it is mostly urine with traces of ejaculate. It is clear though that most if not all women produce the alkaline fluid in at least small quantities. It may seep out versus be expelled and be confused with sweat and vaginal lubrication.
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Is a woman urinating or ejaculating? This is a question that cannot be answer outside a medical lab. There is no accurate way of determining whether a woman is voluntarily squirting urine, experiencing incontinence, or ejaculating at the moment of orgasm. These fluids all exit the body through the urethra so the visible source is the same for them all. I'm not aware of any color, taste, or scent test that can be applied to the expelled liquid that will accurately distinguish them from one another. We are left with no other choice than to see them as indistinguishable, the same.
NOTE: In her book The Clitoral Truth Rebecca Chalker states a simple smell test will tell you if it is urine or ejaculate. If the fluid has a acrid scent, it is urine. This may be true but what difference does or should it make? My concern is that if a woman or her partner decides she is squirting urine then they may see it as undesirable; inappropriate. My position is, it really does not matter what type of fluid is expelled and being concerned about it may create a barrier to pleasure for women. It is okay to be curious about these fluids, that is only natural, but it is not appropriate to judge them.
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If you read the information presented on the website of Dr. Gary Schubach, he states his research has shown the majority of the fluid that is expelled originates in the bladder, but this expelled fluid is not quite normal urine. In his research, the woman’s bladder was emptied using a catheter prior to orgasm. During orgasm, a catheter was in place and connected to a urine collection bag. Analysis of the fluid expelled during orgasm is the basis for his claim. There is one flaw with his methodology; the bladder sphincter is normally closed. If it were not, urine would simply flow out and there would be no "ejaculation" of fluid. What is the significance of creating an artificial passage and collecting the fluid expelled from the bladder during pelvic muscles contractions? During orgasm, does this passage normally exists even if only momentarily? Some claim otherwise or that fluid enters the bladder rather than exiting from it. Even if fluid does collect in the bladder during sexual arousal, would it normally be expelled during orgasm? Are all women the same or are there "normal variations?" Dr. Schybach's research is still important but it provides only part of the picture. Research into female ejaculation is still in its infancy so I am sure we can find flaws in all the studies when looking back at them, especially as new research becomes available.
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Women who expel fluid during orgasm report the color, smell, consistency, and even taste, varies from one occurrence to the next. (It is safe for a person to taste their own ejaculate, and for couples who already exchange body fluids, but not for couples needing to practice safe sex.) Some have found their menstrual cycle influences the type of fluid expelled. What you eat is likely to have an effect on it, as will how much liquid you have consumed. There are women who report that it is sometimes clear and odorless, other times thick and pungent. Others report that it sometimes looks and smells like urine. It is safe to say, most women's ejaculate will vary with time, even during a single sexual episode.
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The amount of fluid released by the paraurethral glands is reported to vary from a couple drops to almost two cups, 15 ounces [444 ml]. Two cups is a lot of liquid, can it really be that much? The paraurethral glands surround the urethra in an area about half an inch [1.25 cm] in diameter and 1.5 inches [3.8 cm] in length. An area of this size when filled with water can hold 0.163 oz [4.8 ml]. Even if the glands were to swell to fill an area 1 inch (2.5 cm] in diameter and 2 inches [5 cm] in length they could still only hold 0.87 oz [26 ml]. If the paraurethral glands can store less than 1 oz of liquid where does the other 14 ounces come from? Keep in mind these glands will continue to produce fluid for as long as a woman is sexually aroused, and as result a woman could produce more than 1 oz of ejaculate if multiple, or a continuous, releases of fluid occurred. One study found women produced 30 to 50 ccs [7 to 15 oz][207 to 444 ml] in 30 to 50 seconds. To produce this much fluid the glands would need to fill and empty once or more times per second. That means the paraurethral glands would need to produce 3 to 5 ccs [0.23 to 0.30 oz][6.9 to 8.9 ml] per second on average. If the paraurethral glands do have the capacity to fill and empty at a rapid rate, that would explain the large volumes of fluid measured by some investigators. It would also mean the longer a woman's orgasm lasted, the more she would ejaculate; as is often the case. If this is all true, it is possible for a woman to ejaculate a considerable amount of fluid without it being urine or liquid from the bladder. Obviously, more research needs to be done to clarify this; perhaps using ultrasound to observe the glands during sexual arousal and orgasm.
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Defining the "Grafenberg spot" or "G spot" is not a simple task. Most would simply say it is an area of high sensitivity located within the paraurethral structures. The problem with this definition is, the sensitivity of this area is not likely to be constant. If a woman is not sexually aroused, she may not have a G spot. If the same woman is highly aroused and her paraurethral glands are engorged with prostatic fluid, she may have a very distinct G spot. There are perhaps women who are not aware of a G spot even though they ejaculate and experience a more intense orgasm if their paraurethral glands are stimulated. It is for these reasons that it is important for people not to form a concrete definition of what a G spot is. Each woman will create her own definition, one valid only for her.
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The next question for debate concerns whether or not "all" women have a G spot or G crest. This is not really a valid question. The G spot indicates the "sensitivity" of a non-specific area of tissue. The "G-Crest" defines the swollen "condition" of the paraurethral glands during sexual arousal. There are no anatomical structures with these names. This is in part why people have trouble finding it. What one needs to look for are the paraurethral glands. All women have these and it is likely that they all produce at least a small amount of fluid that may seep out and mix with the other fluids that are present in much larger quantities.
NOTE: As in the case of men, these glands can become infected and cause pain and discomfort during urination. Women who experience chronic urinary infections or pain should consult with a doctor to see if they may have the female equivalent of "prostatitis."
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How
Do You Locate the
Paraurethral Glands?
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How does one locate these paraurethral glands? Quite simply, you locate the urethra. The urethral opening is located directly above the vaginal opening, below the clitoris. You can see it with your bare eyes; though it can be hard to find in some cases. The urethra extends back from the urethral opening, urethral meatus, into the body, along the front or upper wall of the vagina for 1.5 to 2 inches [3.8 to 5 cm]. While you can see the urethral opening, you cannot see the paraurethral glands themselves. Using a speculum, you might be able to see the swollen paraurethral glands projecting into the vagina through the vaginal wall. The video mentioned below shows this. Adventures people may want to slip a finger or two into their own or their partner's vagina while they urinate so they can feel the urine passing through the urethra. This will help you locate its exact position. Once you have located the urethra, you have a bases for seeking out a possible area along it that is highly sensitive to stimulation, a G spot.
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The
Importance of
Clitoral Stimulation!
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The clitoris probably holds the key to female ejaculation for most women. If the clitoris is not stimulated a woman is less likely to become highly aroused. If she is not highly aroused, her paraurethral glands will not fill with fluid. If her paraurethral glands are not swollen she may not have a G spot. If her clitoris is not stimulated she is less likely to reach orgasm, preventing the rhythmic contractions of the pelvic muscles that expel and release the ejaculate. So quite simply, before you can go exploring for the G spot, you must master clitoral stimulation beforehand. There are women who are orgasmic and ejaculate when their G spot or vagina alone is stimulated, this ability is likely to be discovered accidentally versus intentionally.
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How
Do You Stimulate the
Paraurethral Glands?
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So now that you have an idea as to the location of the G spot, how do you stimulate it? The most versatile tools to use are your fingers. They are firm but flexible. They have feeling and give you feedback. For the solo explorer though, fingers can be a problem. They just are not very long. Plus, if one hand is stimulating your clitoris, it limits access to your vagina with your other hand. So in addition to fingers, dildos and/or vibrators are usually required for finding and stimulating the G spot. (I will refer to both vibrators and dildos as dildos for the sake of convenience) Notice I used the plural 'dildos', not the singular 'dildo'. There is a considerable chance that you may have to try many different dildos to find the right one.
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How do you pick out a dildo for G spot stimulation? Trial and error. The dildos that do have a good success rate are those that are curved near the tip, called G spot stimulators, and penis shaped dildos with a prominent ridge at the junction of the glans and shaft. Some women find hard plastic dildos work best, others, soft flexible ones. Some find that makeshift dildos work great, cucumbers, brush handles, mirror handles, etc. Others prefer slim dildos that they can be directed at a specific area within their vagina, others prefer their vagina to be filled and stretched to the maximum. If you are going to buy a dildo to use for G spot stimulation, be prepared to buy and try many. Any woman who is seriously considering using dildos needs to be aware that she will most likely have a collection of favorites, versus one special one. As women's moods change, so do their dildo needs. While women often start out with one, many soon find they have a drawer full of them. Some women prize their collections. One pretty unique dildo is the Crystal Wand
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Since the physical act of female urination is so similar to female ejaculation, many women have found erotic enjoyment in urinating during sex, solo and with a partner. Women seeking to learn to ejaculate may find themselves squirting urine versus actually ejaculating, not being able to tell them apart. This is because both urination and ejaculation require a woman to be able to let go and relax her bladder sphincter and her pelvic muscles. If you keep your bladder sphincter closed and tighten your pelvic muscles, you cannot urinate or ejaculate. Women seeking to ejaculate are advised to push out when the urge to urinate or ejaculate comes over them at the point of orgasm. Doing this gives your body permission to ejaculate, but it also gives your body permission to urinate. You have no control over which occurs. You will just be aware of the physical sensations that occur. The sensations of both may be pleasant and indistinguishable. Hence learning to urinate intentionally at the point of orgasm may help a woman learn to ejaculate.
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Learning to be able to urinate at the point of orgasm is likely to be easier done alone than with a partner. You will probably find it easier to relax, and you wont be as concerned about the resulting wetness. Doing this in the bathtub has some advantages, one you do not have to worry about the wetness, soaking in warm water will help relax you, and cleanup is a snap. Drink a couple glasses of water a short while before starting; allow your bladder to fill. It does not need to feel full, but you do not want it to be empty either. Lie back in the tub, or lay on several towels on your bed. Start to masturbate. Caress your clitoris. Slipping your fingers or a dildo into your vagina may feel nice. You do not need to necessarily move them back and forth inside your vagina. Allow the sexual buildup to occur slowly. Practice tightening and relaxing your pelvic muscles, commonly called Kegel exercises.
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Think about the act of urinating, of letting go. Allowing your bladder to fill will result in you feeling the need to urinate. The closer you are to the point of orgasm, the stronger the urge to urinate is likely to become. Hold back on your orgasm until you feel you cannot hold your urine a second longer. At the point of orgasm press out and relax your pelvic muscles, welcome the feeling of the urine escaping from your bladder. The stronger the force behind the urine, the greater the sensations are likely to be. So push and try to squirt your urine. It takes practice to be able to let go spontaneously, since you have been conditioned to maintain strict control over your urination habits. It may also help to vocalize the release, make some noise. Intentionally crying out will help with the release. Scream "YES."
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Moving on to ejaculation only requires a couple slight changes in technique. Empty your bladder first; you will want to let go without a full bladder producing the pressure or urge. The urge should still develop, just not be the result of a full bladder. The urge to ejaculate may not occur without there being stimulation of your paraurethral glands. This is likely to require the use of a dildo if you are alone. As you massage your clitoris, using your fingers or a dildo stimulate your urethra by massaging the top of your vagina; using only light pressure at first. Massage the full length of your urethra, from the opening of your vagina back into your vagina a couple inches. Keep up the clitoral massage. Try different pressures and strokes. Massaging the urethral opening may feel pleasant as well. Stimulating your urethra may cause you to feel the need to urinate, as is desired. Do not fight the urge; go with the flow, literally. Relax and breathe deeply.
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If you find a spot that is highly sensitive, you may want to concentrate solely on it, but you may find it is too sensitive to stimulate directly. If your G spot is highly sensitive, you may find you are only able to tolerate its stimulation when you are very close to orgasm, when your pain threshold has increased. Keep massaging your clitoris and urethra. Continue to the point of orgasm. A slow build up, with lots of teasing, may help produce the greatest urge and strongest orgasm. When orgasm occurs, relax your bladder and press out as if urinating. If you ejaculate you will likely feel a new and strong sensation, if not, you will still experience a strong orgasm, so nothing is lost. You may not be aware of any increased wetness until after the orgasm has subsided. Being able to ejaculate may take practice, even if you are able to squirt urine during orgasm. It is not known whether all women can ejaculate, so you just have to experiment. In any event it should be pleasurable.
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With a Partner
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A woman's partner can bring her to an orgasm that includes ejaculation. If a woman already knows she is capable of ejaculating, she should let her partner know, not pray that it will not happen again. She should discuss the increased wetness that occurs with her partner; at least prepare them for it. Hopefully they will see your ejaculations as erotic. If they do not, reeducating them about female fluids and ejaculation may persuade them to at least accept the ejaculations as normal even if they do not like the associated wetness.
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There is perhaps one big advantage to having a partner stimulate you to orgasm when you are trying to ejaculate, they will not stop the stimulation unless you tell them too. If you are masturbating and you start to feel uncomfortable, out of control, you will likely stop immediately. This could prevent you from experiencing orgasm and ejaculation. With a partner you can agree beforehand that they will not stop, even if you say, "stop." (Doing this requires using a "safe word" that indicates, "Stop!" for real. This is a word you are not likely to say accidentally during sex, without thinking about it.) If you find you pull away, you can ask that they hold or follow you so you cannot move away from the stimulation. Of course you should only do these things if you really trust your partner, they need to be forceful without going to far.
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How do you stimulate your partner's paraurethral glands? Your hands provide excellent tools to use. The best way to stimulate the inside of their vagina, along the upper wall, is to create a hook with your index finger. Imagine you want to signal to someone standing across the room that you want them to come toward you. You turn your hand palm up and signal with your index finger by making a hook, curling it up and straightening it repeatedly. You can do the same thing with one or two fingers inside the vagina. Massaging the upper wall of the vagina, from the opening back two inches. Start out with a very light touch. Press your fingers up and toward the front, pointing toward the pubic bone, or clitoris. Use the urethral opening as a guide. Use a generous amount of lubrication; even if she is dripping wet.
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Start out by getting her aroused with manual and/or oral clitoral stimulation. Continue the clitoral stimulation as you massage her urethral glands. Ask your partner if there is a specific spot or area that produces intense or enjoyable sensations when you massage it, her G spot. As you sense her getting closer to orgasm, apply a firmer touch, if she enjoys it. Maintain a constant and steady rhythm. Follow through, continue the massage up through her orgasm. Then switch to a very light caressing touch as she comes down from her orgasm. If she experiences multiple orgasms her orgasms and ejaculations may become more intense, and the amount of ejaculation may increase, the more orgasms she has. If she orgasms with your fingers inside her vagina, her vaginal muscles may squeeze them very tightly, do not pull out; press in gently.
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You can also stimulate your partner to ejaculation using a dildo. This requires more verbal communication as you cannot feel exactly what the dildo is doing. She needs to let you know what feels good, or bad. Some women may like for the tip of the vibrator to be pointed at their urethra, others may prefer a full feeling. The stretching and pressure created by large dildos or an entire hand may stimulate the urethra enough to cause an ejaculation, even if that is not the intent.
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A woman may also ejaculate during intercourse, with a penis or a dildo in a harness. What does seem to work best are positions that result in the penis or dildo stimulating the upper wall of the vagina. Like when a woman's partner kneels between her knees when she is on her hands and knees, or when she is on top controlling the direction and force of the thrusting. Some women may ejaculate during intercourse without even trying; others may find it a challenge. It is more likely if she already ejaculates frequently during manual massage. Practice makes perfect.
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Some Health Concerns
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Unfortunately, there can be some negative side affects to massaging the urethra. The urethra is highly sensitive and is easily irritated. Even normal intercourse can irritate a woman's urethra, resulting in painful urination and infection. This is especially true of virgins and women with tense pelvic muscles as they are too tight, resulting in there being too much friction between their vagina and the thrusting penis or dildo. Intentionally stimulating the urethra increases the chances of there being irritation and infection. To help prevent infections and reduce the chances of irritation, a woman should drink lots of water and urinate just before and right after urethral stimulation, or sex in general if you are prone to urinary tract infections. Just release a little bit of urine before sex if you are trying things with a full bladder. They also recommend women drink cranberry juice as its acidic level helps to ward off the bacteria that cause infections. If you experience irritation, painful urination, or infection, try using less pressure when massaging or stimulating the urethra. The urethra may become accustomed to the stimulation with time, but do not torture yourself, or inflict multiple infections. Have fun, but do not hurt yourself.
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The Wetness
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Dealing with the wetness. If you ejaculate there may be just a little liquid expelled or there could be a lot. If you are intentionally squirting urine or ejaculate repeatedly, there may be a liquid everywhere. Since you usually sleep where you have sex, ejaculations can present a problem. If you only ejaculate a little, simply keeping a couple towels near the bed may be the solution. If you gush, then towels may not be enough. Having a plastic cover on the mattress and extra sheets may do the trick, though changing the sheets and cleaning up may not be the way you want to relax after sex. You can buy the bed pads hospitals use, just say you are caring for a sick child or parent, as they are absorbent and have a plastic backing. They are sometimes sold with incontinence supplies at your local store as well. You can try having sex in the tub or shower. Consider having a second bed or an air mattress to have sex on. For women who ejaculate every time, regardless of whether they want too, cleanup can be bothersome at times, and does take some getting use too. Just try to keep a positive attitude and be prepared with extra towels and sheets. A supportive partner always helps.
highly recommend "The G Spot" for further reading.
Footnotes:1) Regnier de
Graal, "New Treatise Concerning the Generative Organs of Women",
p. 1072)
Alice Kahn Ladas, Beverly Whipple and John D. Perry, "The G Spot" page
59. Dell Publishing 1982.
LINKS
The Paraurethral,
or "Skene's Glands"
in Scientific Literature
Female Ejaculation
Effects
of Clitoral and GSpot
Stimulation on Pelvic Muscles
Urinary Incontinence
and
Pelvic Muscle Rehabilitation Index
The Pelvic Floor Muscles
Critical Reviews
of Incontinence Literature